Back to Work and Wearin’ Shirts (and Undies)

The little one that started potty training herself yesterday ate five eggs for breakfast today. Five. Cinco. One Two Three Four Five. Needless to say, she didn’t eat very much lunch and is going on hour two of a nap because she’s CLEARLY growing– but, dang! Glad eggs are like a nickel at Aldi because it’s becoming likely that we will have to start only feeding the best behaved child, which means that the one that potty trained herself will be eating good. I mean, as long as the peepees keep going in the potty and she keeps grabbing a towel to clean up her own messes.

I revealed it in my first ever email newsletter today (commercial break: SUBSCRIBE HERE), but SURPRISE I’m going back to work in just a few weeks. I will tell you, that it is already one million parts easier already than the last time I went back to work in January of 2015 with a newborn at home, mostly because I will not at any point be revealing my nipples in a public space in an attempt to express liquid gold and prove to anyone and everyone that I can 1) be a working mom and 2) breastfeed my baby exclusively. For the record, that circus lasted a solid 3 weeks before I sent in my resignation letter for the following school year and took that show to the house (and then started feeding my baby formula).

So, Diary, because I know you’re wondering, I’ll be picking up the Señora hat again and will be teaching Spanish I and Spanish II for a virtual charter school this year. The position is one straight out of my dreams and honestly is the opposite of my previous online teaching job in every possible way– including mandatory travel around the state periodically, which kicks off with a three day retreat in the mountains of North Carolina for teacher workdays. Wut. I really hope it’s real, because I emailed these jokers copies of my social security card and passport to prove I’m employable here in Los Estados Unidos and if this was just an elaborate scheme to steal the identities of tired teacher moms, they got me good.

I wonder if they’ll be having us sleep all night at this retreat and if there will be three meals a day and if I’ll get to poop there without anyone making eye contact with me.

So, yeah I’ve got all the feelings. I’ve been a legit unemployed (but you know, side hustling because I literally cannot stop doing things) SAHM for about four months now, and I honestly at first thought it was the beginning of what would be like a really long season, and then suddently it became clear it was just a sweet, refreshing, jubilant BREAK.

Ten years of teaching and restarting your brain every semester will do a number on your mind, heart and soul, that’s for sure. Not to mention growing, birthing and keeping alive two humans with no actual maternity leave will give you some kind of special autoimmune disease that flare with stress– THAT’S FOR SURE.

So, thank you Father God for this break, because without it I would have sent a hard pass to this incredible job opportunity when it fell from the sky into my text messages. Instead, I was feeling a little overwhelmed in the wilderness of my brain… lack of focus, lack of structure to my days, questioning everything, frustrated with our finances and had already been wondering if I needed to consider going back to the workplace for some stability. Aaaalll those inklings and then he just brought the workplace to me. LIKE HE DO.

Our word for the year is TRUST and I’m knocking it out of the park (sarcasm). If you need me in the wilderness I’ll be the one by the tree FREAKING OUT because surely we’ll be in the wilderness forever.

All the feelings of course, all the thoughts, all the wonderings… I can honestly and completely authentically say though– fear, disappointment, excitement, pride, worry, anxiety, stress aside– the feeling that has risen to the forefront is peace. I’m excited. It’s the next right thing.

And in true transparency, potty training has been stressing me the eff out for weeks and literally my daughter just decided yesterday to do the damn thing. Declined a diaper and peed on the potty like the future world leader that she will be. We’re still day 2 in the pantsless phase, but we’ve experimented some with wearing undies (I’ve honestly never seen her so proud of herself) and we’re still on the lookout for a poop. So much Potty Wilderness ahead but if he brought us to it, he’ll bring us through it– AM I RIGHT?

COME ON SOMEBODY.

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