Right Now: 29 weeks

Right now we’re guessing… 29w4d. Eep. So close to thirty weeks and t-minus 10 weeks. 

Right now I’m feeling pregnant in that… big belly. kicking baby. emotional!  hungry. 

Right now I’m eating… everything in sight. Eating a ton of veggies and paleo framework like normal, but occasional splurges on pretty bad things (like a legit Chick Fil A sandwich with pickles!). I think my iron was low this week, I was a poor planner and literally had cereal for dinner two nights in a row which is usually my big, good, well rounded meal of the day. It’s hard to eat good breakfasts and lunch on toddler duty everyday. I felt really, REALLY, REALLY unnaturally tired regardless of whether I napped or not and decided to eat a giant spinach green smoothie (still working on it, honestly) and double up on my Flintstone vitamin with iron (oh yeah, pre-natals give me heartburn and I just can’t with that crap) and I feel AWESOME today. Trying to focus on eating more animal protein, leafy greens and just more in general. 

Right now I’m loving… we are really settling into our house. Which seems silly because we’ve lived here for five years (in April!). I’m kind of in a nesting place, and we’ve decluttered enough, got our wits about us and have learned about ourselves and each other enough that we really have a cohesive vision for our home and what we want it to be for our family and in our life. We’re finding our combined style and how we want to decorate each room. We’ve been able to incorporate little details from our wedding here and there into really practical decor for our house which is sweet. Just loving our little home and that God has really changed my perspective on it. I plan to blog in April about each room and share our updates. This place used to be such a burden to me and I resented it sometimes, but it’s so crazy how that’s changed in the past year. 

Right now, like last time… It’s not nearly as bad as it was with Lincoln, but I have a few eczema patches here and there that will flare up and go away. One under my left eye which really bugs me. 

Right now, this is different than last time in that…  I’m not gaining as much weight as I did with Lincoln which isn’t a surprise considering how I eat now and that I’m literally always moving/chasing Lincoln. I was right at 137 when I went to our last midwife appointment which is crazy bananas. That was my “super heavy overweight weight” I was senior year of college when I had to buy bigger clothes for student teaching and kind of began my struggle with weight that would really last until I went paleo two summers ago. It’s kinda crazy how I tried so hard to lose weight in those first years after graduating… crash diets, exercising (running– UGH), joining and quitting the gym (literally 5 times in 3 years– NOBODY LET ME JOIN A GYM AGAIN EVER) and once I cut out crappy, processed, terrible for you food for good (thanks, eczema!) I lost every bit of unnecessary weight my body had been hoarding and literally haven’t weighed myself in almost two years except for baby appointments. Really, without sugar, dairy and grains my body just thrived and weight became a non-issue. I’m kind of interested to see how I do postpartum and how it all goes. I definitely kept the weight on with breastfeeding Lincoln but all I ate was sugar and carbs (brownies. all I ate was brownies, guys. and chili…) so we will see how it goes this time! 
Right now I’m looking forward to…  this weekend! So much. Lots of fun photo things planned, family time and a REALLY fun weekend at church. 

Right now I’m reading…  Grace Not Perfection and Respect Dare. Still.

Right now I’m wearing…  leggings! A couple pairs of maternity pants. My t-shirts are getting a little short, so I’m going to be exclusively maternity shirts, Irma tunics, Marshall shirts from here on out I think. 

Right now I’m watching… nothing really. I found my intense emotions make me really affected by TV shows and I ugly cried and sulked for a couple of days after I found out Wes died on HTGAWM (if you didn’t know that yet, I’m sorry…). So, more books, podcasts and sleep for me. Occasional West Wing and Friends as background noise. I did start watching the Santa Clarita Diet on Netflix which made me laugh out LOUD but also made me really nauseous due to its.. uh… graphic nature.  

Right now I’m listening to… The Waitress Soundtrack. Today, literally, right now, actually. Just found out Sara is going to be in it on Broadway starting in March and I tried to figure out how to get up there to see it either before baby or afterwards, but traveling states away 36+ weeks pregnant is not wise (apparently) and making that sort of trip with or without my newborn sounds kinda miserable with either crazy postpartum anxiety of flying without my 8 (or less) week old (and pumping/toting milk) or taking her and having a newborn cry through the flight/musical and not sleep. So it’s just one of those things. Really hoping my friends make the trip so I they can text me and send me videos the entire time and I can pretend I’m there and I can be one degree of separation to Sara B.

Right now kinda nervous about…  I had a rough week or so. Work got a little wacky, our house got a little cluttery, and I got a fresh batch of pregnancy hormones and anxiety once I hit third trimester and I started thinking about the future. I know, I mean, I know the Chatterbox is a liar (if you don’t know what I’m referring to you should read this book or at minimum listen to this sermon series) but he was getting to me and I was just feeling fearful. About this baby in my belly (she measured ever so slightly small at my last midwife appointment and got me all paranoid and stressed and guilty about a lot, including taking Flintstones instead of prenatal vitamins, just as an example), my planned natural delivery at the birth center coming up (I geotagged an appointment and the secret’s out! everyone will know if I change my mind or end up in a hospital now! Which I honestly don’t really care about, but the Chatterbox had me thinking I did care and it really mattered for a couple days there…), about finishing out my semester with a newborn and a toddler (and all kinds of lies about how I won’t be able to handle it, etc). It was just bull crap. I was frustrated with myself for feeling fearful and disappointed that no matter what I knew in my head was not lining up with how I felt in my heart. Anywho, more than anything The Enemy wants us to feel isolated, feel alone and to feel like something is wrong with us and to keep us in that place. And I stayed there for a week maybe? A couple days? And then I decided that was enough and I talked to some friends. I talked to Marshall. I found a ton of scripture about fear and being brave and anxiety and how Jesus has got it. I don’t need to hang onto it with even a pinky finger. He’s carrying it. He’s got this baby, her delivery and subsequent days, weeks, months, years, lifetime– ACCOUNTED FOR. Nothing haphazard, nothing worth worrying about. He’s holding us, all of us, in his hands. 
Bam! I feel like I’m not done with the Chatterbox for the foreseeable future, and I know he’ll be back for round 2 but I’m training and I’m ready. I can handle it. 

Right now celebrating… We finally, finally, finally (!)  got our king size bed. We’d been rescheduling and waiting on the right payday and it came (last Friday) and we went to IKEA and got the bedframe and our mattress came on Tuesday and last night we had the best night sleep I’ve had maybe ever. Our mattress is memory foam (I know strikingly little about mattresses so it was all Marshall’s research) and I woke up and slept with virtually no back, hip or pelvic pain which has pretty much been a major issue since 19 weeks or so for me. Incredible. Can’t wait to go to bed tonight! 

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