Hello sweet blog. I am excited to write in you about something besides what I am eating (although I am pretty sure that this post will somehow relate back to that in some way, shape, or form).
My first two years of teaching I never had a day where I felt like I wasn’t where I was supposed to be. Every single day I just felt so complete, without a doubt in my mind that this was where I was supposed to be and I was doing what I was supposed to be doing.
This year that changed. It started slowly but by Christmastime I was painfully aware that this wasn’t right. I was spending an hour and a half (or more) a day in the car, working late nights coaching cheerleading and it had come to the point where I was regularly drinking energy drinks to just stay awake during a full work day. I began to resent the fact that I was missing so much of my life working which slowly began to creep into my pedagogy and made my tolerance for shenanigans quite low. I didn’t have time during the day (or after the day) to plan creative lessons that excited me. I didn’t have time to spend with my sweet puppies. I didn’t have time to catch up on grading (or stay caught up on grading) and overall I felt like big failure. During this time I also began working on a course development team and designing learning activities in Moodle for an online course which is so much fun and right up my alley. That began to take precedent over other things (mainly, sleep) which really did not improve the situation. I wasn’t doing my best in the classroom, I was always grumpy with my cheerleaders, I wasn’t able to stay caught up on things at home or eat right (there it is <—) I was just living. Day to day, living. Existing. I needed a change.
Marshall and I talked and prayed about it a lot but really it boiled down to for me that I could not imagine another entire school year of driving so far just to be mediocre and overcommitted. We agreed that it would be best to do one more year there (I have a federal grant that requires 4 years of teaching in a ‘low income’ school), but to look for options closer to home that would work for my grant as a plan B.
A few job fairs, some divine intervention, three interviews and a decision to not look for a high school job later, I am excited to (with joy!) announce that I will be teaching K-2 Spanish in the mornings and Technology in the afternoons in a year-round charter school beginning in July. Talk about a CHANGE, right? My average student age currently is 16, and starting in July it will be, like, 6 ½. Big difference. I spent most of the day observing on Thursday and loved it. There are carpet squares, iMacs, crayons, stickers, stamps, songs, an AppleTV, and a whole brand new set of challenges awaiting me I could not be more excited.
Overall, I am filled with an extreme sense of gratitude that the creator of the universe would care for me and give me the wonderful gift of a job that undeniably answers a desire in my heart. Here’s my new classroom. Grateful heart.
God, brilliant Lord, yours is a household name. Nursing infants gurgle choruses about you, toddlers shout the songs that drown out enemy talk, and silence atheist babble. I look up at your macro-skies, dark and enormous, your handmade sky-jewelry, moon and stars mounted in their settings. Then I look at my micro-self and wonder, why do you bother with us? Why take a second look our way? Yet we’ve so narrowly missed being gods, bright with Eden’s dawn light. You put us in charge of your handcrafted world, repeated to us your Genesis-charge, made us lords of sheep and cattle, even animals out in the wild, birds flying and fish swimming, whales singing in the ocean deeps. God, brilliant Lord, your name echoes around the world! Psalm 8 (The Message)
Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Psalm 37: 3-6