the fear

March is here, March is here. Unlike some Marches I have experienced during my lifetime here in Ole NC, it is freezing. It is snowing. It is raining. It is still winter. Even though flip flops are not considered professional dress, I am still looking forward to a day when I can wear mine again (comfortably!).

Teaching is going so well. I am learning so much, it is unbelievable. Today was a wacky day… Wednesdays are already early release days and then we had a two hour delay, so our normal 90 minute classes were turned 45– so literally instruction time was cut in half. On an already hectic and crammed schedule, the day just turned crazier. It was great though… I am teaching semi-original lessons now and with the help of my cooperating teacher, we developed a pretty fun vocabulary game with fly swatters that had the ENTIRE class participating in both periods. It was unreal. We had a few absent in both 3rd and 4th period (totally normal for these kids….reckless skippers), but seriously everyone was engaged. There were no heads down, no sleepers, no “this is lame”-ers. At the risk of sounding totally cliche: today was totally a teacher-inspirational-set-in-the-ghetto-with-a-white-teacher-education-uplifting-made-for-tv-movie day. We’ll see how it goes the rest of the week with the full 90 minutes back. I laughed a lot today. I still ended up with a headache, but I think that can be attributed to the terrible lighting and over-loud intercom system all over the school. It’s amazing how a few weeks ago I couldn’t imagine being in front of the classroom but now it feels so normal and totally possible.

Only like two more weeks of this, then I’ll be picking up the 4/5 combination class which will definitely add some challenges… but my confidence level with my Spanish has really improved in the past few weeks. I think just getting to know my students and the other native speakers has really helped. We have a sweet lady from Colombia and a fun guy from Puerto Rico on staff and it’s so encouraging to be able to understand and speak with them. I finally feel like it’s not a lie when I say “I speak Spanish”. I guess as a Spanish teacher I kind of have to own that, huh?

So the March page in my calendar totally freaked me out when I flipped to it on the way back from Charlotte, but you know what really freaked me out?

Bam. Right there trying to look all inconspicuous in between April and June. Exciting. I’ve got the fear. Cassidy and Dan talked to me about this fear at the beginning of the school year… when you don’t really know where you’re going to live…or work… or how you’re going to buy things or eat, etc. And I’ve got it. And they were totally right… it’s really scary, but exciting all the same.

3 thoughts on “the fear

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